What a lazy bastard!


All the words
are made up words,
but some are made up wrong.
The word ‘nature’ for example
is roughly defined as
‘The phenomena
of the physical world collectively,
excluding both humans
and human creations’.
What a super silly word!
As if humans don’t come from nature?
I mean I suppose that would explain
the almighty arse stained shit-show
we’ve managed to make of the world.
But seriously though.
Humans are not considered
a part of nature?
Like humans are composed of
some special kind of matter?
Carefully baked
at a different cosmic temperature  
than the rest of the matter
in the universe.
Everything must have come
from somewhere,
so why do we think that
we came from somewhere else?
I mean aren’t we really just a bunch
of slightly more advanced monkeys?
In the whole scheme of things?
Monkeys that have learned to play
with slightly more advanced tools?
So why are regular monkeys
still a part of nature but we’re not?
Do they stay a part of nature
until they pass some sort of
‘artificial’ exam?
And then suddenly
they’re not nature anymore?
Like as soon as a monkey
loses the hair on it’s arse
and learns how to make a few extra noises
it suddenly receives a one way pass
to the valley beyond
what is considered natural?
And then everything
it does or creates thereafter is considered
above nature?
Or a beaver builds a dam
and a human builds a house
using trees from the same forest,
but the beaver’s dam is a part of nature,
and the human’s house is not?
I’m not having that!
Just seems a little far-fetched to me.
Double standards or something.
Like nature’s the teacher
but it couldn’t be bothered grading
the more advanced assignments
so it just gives them all automatic A’s
and moves them to another class.
What a lazy bastard!
So nature’s a bit
of a half-arsed word then really.
Encapsulating only some
of the stuff that exists.
Seems we need to make up
a more substantial word then.
One that covers everything.
How about sprongo?
Sprongo is roughly defined as
‘The phenomena of the physical world,
and any other worlds that may exist,
including both humans
and human creations’.
But that’s just a made up word you say?
All words are made up words.
But don’t worry,
because all words
are also a part of sprongo.
Everything, in fact, is sprongoral.
From the bacteria on our skin,
to genetically modified tomatoes,
to the buildings in New York,
to the aliens we haven’t met yet.
No longer do we have to
illogically discriminate
between a beavers dam
and a humans bungalow.
A sparrow’s nest and an inuits igloo.
It’s all just a part of sprongo!
And sprongo brings us all together.
Even if some people do consider that

Humour Life Nature Random What are we thinking?

Adam Millett View All →

Adam Millett is a freelance writer for hire with an affinity for dressing up as Spiderman and writing about saving the planet. He likes to climb trees and stare at the stars in his spare time and likes to help businesses tell their sustainability stories while he’s working. Visit his website at wordchameleon.com if you want to tell the world yours.

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