We’re all as mental as it gets sure! Headless chickens running about the place looking for our fins!


I’m mental
Like absolutely bat shite mental
Not well in the head at all like
Properly nuts in the teeth
As mad as a bag of shpiders as they say
So anyways
My question is
As mad as I am
Will I be okay d’ya think?

Ah yeah
Sure amn’t I mental as well like!

That is true now in fairness
Sure isn’t everyone at leasht a wee bit mental I suppose?

Ah definitely
More than a wee bit
Maybe even a poo bit!
We’re all as mental as it gets sure!
Headless chickens running about the place
Looking for our fins!  

Some more than others though i’d say?
Like them lads off Jackass?
Or them Isis lads?
Or all them really rich people?
Like, some people see things?
And hear things?
Things that aren’t really there like?  

Ah no
There’s just different kinds of mental I think
Like daft mental or wicked mental
Passive mental
Endless variations of mental!
And I know there’s the odd few who seem kind of normal!
Whatever that is!
But I can assure you
Normal on the outside
Loopy on the inside!
We’re all equally delusional really!
Sure reality is subjective
Like, I’d say they used to think that colourblind people were a little bit cuckoo!
Back in the day like
Before they figured out all that rods and cones business!
And now they think ‘the schizo’s’ are all cuckoo
Think their neurotransmitters are all messed up!
Wires crossed like
So they hear things and they see things that we don’t!
But who’s to say that the things that they hear and the things that they see
aren’t as real as the things that we hear and the things that we see!
Like the radio receiver in their minds has been set to a different frequency
And they’ve started picking up a different channel
Where the songs are all different
But just because we’re all listening to one channel
and they’re listening to another
It doesn’t mean that their channel isn’t real!
I mean there’s a solid chance that the radio transmitters themselves
are only a load of bollocks anyways!
So as I said
We’re all equally delusional!

Shtall the engine here now for a minute before
I lose my mind
Tis heavy shtuff
But anyways
That’s fair enough I suppose
I guess it makes sense
I think
But in fairness though
It could be that ‘the schizo’s’ actually are imagining all that shtuff?
Like what if it really does only exisht inside their heads?
That’d have to mean it isn’t real surely?

Ah well
If you think about it
It’s still as real as it gets for them!
And even if it only exists inside their minds
That means that it still exists somewhere!
It’s a part of their reality!
And who’s to say that the imaginations of ones consciousness don’t
create some sort of distinctive energy that gives those imaginations
a legitimate lodging in reality somehow!
Like it’s possible that the things that we imagine do in fact become
very real and tangible entities in some way!
Moulded by our thoughts into some curious form that we don’t yet understand!
While setting up camp on some plain of existence that we can’t yet comprehend!
I mean it might even be that they exist before we actually imagine we’ve imagined them
And that they’re formed elsewhere
Somewhere completely separate from us!
And then maybe they migrate covertly into our minds
Once we’ve been deemed ready to receive them!
But sometimes maybe they migrate at the wrong time!
And that’s what might cause any of the pure madness that does be going on
about the place!
Or going back to the radio analogy
It could be the case that we’re not just mere radio receivers!
Latching onto some transmission of reality that comes to us from the outside world
Or beyond!
See it might be the case that we each have
our own radio transmitter hardwired within us!
Our very own radio transmitter that transmits our very own radio station
A station which then becomes our very own reality!
Suggesting that our minds and our imaginations are actually the creators
of our realities!
As opposed to the other way around
And that each one of us literally creates our own reality!
Now how everyone’s separate realities might interact with each other is anyone’s best
guess I suppose
Like maybe there’s some sort of merging energy or adaptive force
And it blends all the realities together and makes them compatible somehow
Which allows us to seamlessly communicate and interact!
Even though everyone’s actually experiencing their own unique version of reality
But this energy is there to like convert the variations
Like a decoder
Or that app that can instantly translate a language to another language just by focusing
the camera on the text!
But instead of the camera it’s us
And instead of the text it’s someone else’s reality!
And instead of the App it’s the cosmos or the multiverse or whatever it all is!
I mean who could honestly possibly really know what the craic is at all!
Like maybe we are actually living in an App!
Or a camera!
Or maybe we’re made up of tiny tiny fragments of text
Like lines of code!
I mean honestly like who could actually know!
It’s all just madness
Absolute discombobulating madness!
But anyways
I’m rambling away here!
And it all sounds mental I know
But it’s all possible!

Chrisht Almighty
Let’s calm it down there now for a minute and we just cool the jets here for a second
You’re getting ahead of yourself a wee bit now I think it’s fair to say
But I do kinda get what you’re saying
I think
Like i’d say most of us probably tend to
think that our reality is the only ‘real’ reality
And that it is in fact ‘real’
When really none of us can actually know for sure what ‘real’ really means at all
So really everybody’s just as wrong as everybody else
But nobody likes to be wrong
And I suppose that would explain a lot of the mad shite that does be going on
about the place
The whole time
Because really
We’re all just mad bastards scurrying around trying to make sense of all the madness
Like a load of shpiders trapped in a bag
Pure mental
But anyways
After saying all this
When it comes down to it
And as mad as it all is like
My real question is I suppose
Will we be okay d’ya think?  

Ah sure
Your guess is as good as mine on that one now!
Depends what way you look at it I suppose!

I suppose that makes sense
Fair enough
That’s grand then
Cheers for that

Ah now!
Sure no bother at all!
Any time lad!
Good luck!

Death Evolution Free Will God Human Human Nature Humour Life Love Mortality Mystery Nature Random Spirituality The Self The Universe Time trippy What are we thinking?

Adam Millett View All →

Adam Millett is a freelance writer for hire with an affinity for dressing up as Spiderman and writing about saving the planet. He likes to climb trees and stare at the stars in his spare time and likes to help businesses tell their sustainability stories while he’s working. Visit his website at if you want to tell the world yours.

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